The Closet Queen’s Guide to Cleveland for the 2016 RNC

 

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AIDS Taskforce Our center welcomes everyone whether they have HIV or not
Ambiance Our home-grown erotic boutique has a wide range of condoms, restraints, and women’s lingerie at several suburban shops
b.a. Sweetie Sugar babies and chocolate galore at the nation’s largest candy store
Blow Hair & Nail Spa Sit back and relax and don’t worry: chic Hingetown is no longer queer, just tamely gay.
Bounce Our only gay dance club is a great place to tell your own story
Cocktails Cleveland Friendly gay bar with an open stage for drag queens
Cuyahoga County Courthouse Whether you say it kie-a-hoe-ga or kie-a-hog-a, drop in here for civil marriage licenses (online pre-registration available!)
Dean Rufus House of Fun Great place to pick up a gift for the gay teen in your life
Emerald Necklace Nickname of our extensive public park system. Check out the Fishing Pier public facilities at the nearby Lakefront Reservation
Flex The nation’s largest bathhouse has a great gym to find personal trainers who also do massage
Gray’s Auctioneers This local auction house has classic accessories for your office
Great Lakes Brewery Local brewery’s cold beer is always a hit – run in today, especially since it’s not gay!
The Hawk Full of stocky black guys, but don’t be intimidated: this friendly gay bar always has an interracial crowd
Hopkins Our airport has sparkling bathrooms and helpful folks to lift your luggage
Jack Not the app, not a sex club, it’s our casino’s new name!
Kimpton Schofield Our new boutique hotel is great for 1-on-1 meetings (it may look 20 stories high; but it’s not even 18)
Lakewood Right next to Cleveland, this gay-friendly city hosts St. Edward’s, home of the best wrestling team in the state.
Leather Stallion Sadist? Guys who can take your abuse gather at the Midwest’s oldest leather bar
Lesbian bar You’re right to be skittish if you’re a womyn-loving-womyn: there’s not even a woman’s night at any of our gay bars
LGBT Community Center Volunteers serve gay youths in hip Gordon Square
Metroparks Zoo Animal lovers can see monkeys and box turtles and the butchest otters! Be advised, though: there’s wolves but no dogs, zebras but no horses, miniature donkeys but not mules.
Ohio City Looking for a bed and breakfast for a quiet getaway just for two? Check out Cleveland’s most historic neighborhood
Old Stone Church Into activism? It’s just a short stroll to the historic church on Public Square that doesn’t perform same-sex weddings
People’s University What we call the Cleveland Public Library, home of helpful librarians, and a great place to study up on LGBTQ rights
Scene Our alternative weekly has the sassiest pages in town
Shaker Heights Best suburb to buy that mansion for your “intimate associate
Soldiers & Sailors Monument Enter our veteran’s memorial on Public Square to learn about gay soldiers. If you’ve got questions, ask: the docent will tell
Twist Must-see gay bar—at least pop in to use the bathroom
Velvet Tango Room Not a gay bar (perfect!), but one of America’s best cocktail bars. You can easily drop $1,500 while people-watching
Vibe Gay bar with the least public transportation and most parking
…and of course, there’s always Grindr! post your pics there (or there or there). We’ll be watching!

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